Guest Authors: How’d it Taste?

The following ride report was provided, in a joint effort, by Cap'n and Councilman. There is much to report from the last several days, but this post seemed to capture the mood pretty well, so enjoy. On a side note, I was fast asleep by 8:30 with tacos dancing in my dreams. Additionally, in line with new levels of low, I have added a link to a video at the bottom discussing the future plans from the marketing minds at DZ Nuts (the video itself would not fit)!

Ride #55 Report:

June 2nd Pictures

Ride leader (plus Molly) showed for the send-off, (although commitments made by Lars to show for the taco part were not followed though with), we do appreciate the parking lot nod and three consecutive day road ride report. Cap'n, B, Ghost, In-law and Councilman rolled out for a nice evening ride on trails anticipated to be free of dust. There was discussion of the 40% chance of rain potential but that only transpired into drops that never actually fell upon us. Many other things, much different than rain did fall upon us though. We were five but we were a feisty five. 6:45ish start due to pre-ride discussion and requisite SSFT3 hydration. We started up the horse trail behind Sly Park entrance, steered NW on a wicked steep climb. By the time we were half way up it, B decided to give it a name “I’m gonna barf,” yep, he did barf and, alas a trail was named. B is for barf.

After visiting the table grave yard, descending where Patrick lost his brake pad and back up toward Park Creek the group decided against heading in the direction of gunfire and went straight to Wedding March. At the pit stop In-Law took some creative license in attempt to determine the acronym UFK which was tagged on Cap’n’s home the night before. This was the first hint we may be headed for new conversational lows at the Knott table. We rode the wedding march and a clean shaven and svelte Barrett was clearly ready for a wedding and demonstrated so by pulling off a no-crash nose-wheelie! We descended the Rock Garden where Barrett again found his Mojo and cleared the rock garden. Maybe the clean shaven look is working for him. At the creek crossing near the campground B produced the all weather unbreakable camcorder for some sweet creek crossing footage with a fisherman observer. I would love to know what he was thinking. We then started back around the lake and took the horse trail to the upper parking lot. We climbed Rufus Rage crossed over Mormon Immigrant, and then down Hillbilly ?? where we came upon a shooting range and B offered another questionable group photo op. The gats came out and the FT3 gangsta’s showed their true colors (hint number two we were in fo’ a different type of FT3). Where was Ian? From there, we went down sweet single track to Fleming fireroad and back to 2nd dam. We went around first dam, thru fishing grounds, reverse course at Marina threw some of us for a loop but it was an intentional move to head over to far end of Patrick's trail for backdoor parking lot entry. It was there near the road that the beer challenge was made for any rider to clean the steep entry to Patrick’s Trail. The MacAskill skills were honed, but none shall pass. It was also decided that should any rider clean the section, they shall have the badge of their name on the trail. Total mileage 17, total time 2:20.

No firepit, it was swarmed by aliens or French people. Tacos were a little bland, sauce choices were deemed ‘weak sauce’ but we made good by dabbling in various four-sauce combos. The classic ‘pepper’ was even brought out, lid off and was an instant hit. Yes, the settlers know what they were doing with pepper. There was discussion of bringing our own sauces/condiments in future. There was also detailed discussion of female anatomy, biological functions, and agreement that conversation had reached new low with a specific never before asked question from in-law. B and Councilman went deep with Da Bomb (photos to prove application) and one of them suffered immensely.

Someone suggested the Pino Lodge’, and no one voiced opposition, rather the responses sounded like “please?” There we met Adam the skinhead who immediately challenged the group to an armwrestling match for beer. Lucy the Lush and her Serbian Paramilitary boyfriend were also there along with some roofing contractor, and the Councilman's estranged babysitter. Shots of Jim Beam Rye went all around, then arm wrestling challenges were followed upon. Cap'n and B proved up to the effort, easily defeating young Adam. B lost to said roofer, Cap'n to paramilitary man, B beat Cap'n and Councilman lost to everyone. Ghost decided we needed another round of shots, and opted for Tweakin Puerto Rican's. Inlaw and Councilman stepped up and capped off the night in proper fashion. B and Cap’n were enjoying their hard fought Coors Original from winning arm wrestling matches.

DZ NUTS Movie