Barely Legal

Partial Rollup
An early arrival home from meetings in Sacramento provided me with a rare opportunity to execute the elusive "roll up" typically conducted by those with less children and more flexible schedules than mine. Ignoring the clock's ticking and maintaining my optimism, I sat down for a quick bowel movement and began calling B. After multiple attempts to answer his phone we finally connected. His rollup was underway, he was just beyond Mosquito, I indicated that I could be ready in 7 minutes, and he reluctantly became part of my optimism. While he was rolling back I determined that my light wasn't charged and my rear tire was flat. Alas, the minutes ticked by and the elusive rollup became once again more elusive to me. I placated a noticeably frustrated B with a couple warm PBR's while I repaired the flat and charged my light. We convinced XTeric to bring his extra rack and pick us up at Valero with NoCar and began our journey up the El Dorado Trail to execute the "partial rollup."

"I Just saw a cat, I shit you not"
As we approached the hill just beyond Jacquier an extremely excited helmetless man on a mountain bike came roaring down the hill yelling "I JUST SAW A CAT I SHIT YOU NOT." B and I, aware of recent mountain lion sightings in the area, and judging by his reckless abandon, assumed he was referring to a mountain lion type of feline. Moments later we passed a woman who had also been informed of this feline sighting, she was terrified and thought it best to remain paralyzed on the trail bench to avoid being this cat's dinner.  Without an ounce of fear, we continued on our quest to complete the "partial rollup." B was convinced we would not be attacked as we were both looking splendid in our FT3 kits while rolling atop single speed mountain bikes. We pondered the potential of this man being judgement-impaired due to drug or alcohol ingestion, but since he continued on his quest to inform the masses in a "bring out your dead" or "the British are coming" manner we were unable to obtain additional details about whether or not this was a house cat, bobcat, or mountain lion that he was 'shitting us not' about.

FT3 sucks at carpooling
B and I completed our rollup in good time, just as XTeric arrived to Valero, we loaded up and began a spirited discussion about whether or not FT3 should encourage or disallow the participation of riders under the age of 18. Our carpool arrived at the Knott to join a ridiculous number of single occupant vehicles. FT3 needs to take a look at it's carbon footprint, it's bad enough that each of his will foul the air on red hot Wednesday, the least we could do is attempt a little emission reduction with the carpool on Tuesdays. Just as we started to look at one another to determine if we were collectively ready to roll, Unknown Local arrived in his multi-seated single occupant vehicle. Councilman's Pre-BR's were dwindling as the last minute repair was completed on UL's rig. The ELEVENSTRONG count off was executed in the parking lot amid grumblings from the pack, lights were on, and Spawn desperately wanted to ride lead.

Barely Legal
And ride lead he did. His calls for count offs at intersections were splendid and he treated the pack to multiple sections of new trail. The new section he took us on was 'barely legal' and stands to be named as such, it took at least one rider out while the remainder of the group whoopped and hollered in it's glory. As we re-grouped our group of eleven provided a good sounding board for the discussion of less than legal (18 years and younger) riders participating in FT3. Within the context of the aptly-named trail I thought it fitting to roll out my strong opinion on the matter. Seems several riders agree; and our adult conversations later in the evening (and every Tuesday) solidified, that FT3 is an occasion fitting for an adult. There indeed remains some differing options on the matter, so the discussion will continue, could this be the first occasion for a formal vote? Do we need to call upon our Counsel?

!&c%ing Bu$shwacking
It is notable the discussion was held to three minutes our less, and our ELEVENSTRONG group of Spawn, Cappy, XTeric, B, Councilman, NoHandle, NoCar, Partial Credit, Buttons, Orphan and Unknown Local charged on. We rode up some fireroad that only the Spawn knows how to locate then began our search for some wildlife trails which quickly turned to bushwacking.  Our ride leader was unflappable, he deftly maneuvered through the bush and remained steadfast in his leadership of the ELEVENSTRONG group that pleasantly accepted his route choice. Suddenly the bush and trees opened and we began circling the picnic tables and took off for a clockwise lake loop. Since we had hardly climbed by this point in the ride it was necessary to take the horse trail and the extra steep bonus "insert foul name unfit for the ears of a minor here" section up to the powerline and after a quick regroup climbed Rufus Rage. NoCar clamored for a pavement decent of MET and didn't get what he desired as we dropped Redneck Rising. UL fell into the "tank trap" and lived to tell about it, XTeric went all mountain and rolled his tubeless tire. After failed attempts to re-seat a tire with very little Stan's in it, the ELEVENSTRONG group learned that "If you flat it then you better put a tube in it."

15-10 and Surrend
We rolled down Fleming, back out to MET and back to the Knott via the boat launch trails. Councilman bailed, the table was set for ten and Taco Spawn announced that he was going to make an attempt for the taco/beer record (notably, this is yet another occurrence unfit for a minor). As the Spawn dug into his tacos and Coors light's the group pondered how a football team could score a single point. Must be Canadian, some said. Those guys are corn fed, others said. After a curious departure from the table and the Knott hole to outside, some confusion about how many baskets of tacos the spawn had had, "you better check with your taco people" and just after he began slurring his speech, he decided to throw in the towel. The remaining six tacos were devoured by the rest of the group, NoCar put one in his pocket to enjoy while he reads this masterpiece, and the rest of us got up to pay our bills.