Sunday, January 19, 2014

Dem Bones, Dem Bones, Dem Dry Bones

Chickens don't have collar bones. The equivalent bones have fused with the interclavicle to become the wishbone. A structure ritualistically broken for good luck. It is also good luck to break the collar bone. Evolutionary biologists have theorized that the clavicle is designed to fail. Crooked as a dive bar cue stick, the clavicle breaks rather than subject the neck vertabrae to potentially life threatening forces. No surprise, then, that the clavicle is the most commonly broken bone. Especially among hedonistic bicyclists.

Fortunately, with the help of a good surgeon, they also heal quickly. Assuming no one plans to callout a Monday ride

The Taco Gossip:
I've been around the Taco Table a bit, and have heard some he said, spotter said, so here's the report.

Remember how it used to be 2013? FT3 hammered out a ride. I missed it. Word is, RG took a hard bail and then jettisoned. The big news is that Mrs. Chickenwing and Mrs. Noobie joined the Taco Table. For the holiday, Mother served nachos, and for FT3, Chickenbake served chickenbake.

The next week
I got to the Knott just in time to see half the group arrive. Shortly after tacos started spouting from the kitchenhole, the second group arrived. Word is that RideLeader Taco Spawn rushed though a Park Creek road intersection (I am guessing that this was the intersection were Park Creek, Hazel, and Plum ridge all come together and there are more roads than arms on an octopus), and half the group had fallen behind while Noobie picked a pea from his saddle. Cel phone communication allowed the two groups to finish the evening on independent routes. Partial Credit offered himself as whipping boy, since he was the last to pass the intersection before the gap.

The week after that
ODRL made a cameo, and kept an orderly pack. Until Buttons went missing. They backtracked to find him exhibiting the dreaded "Rocking God" syndrome. The poor lad wrecked hard enough on the fast, rutted descent of Redneck to merit a shuttle back to the Knott. Has anyone else wrecked on that stretch? I see at least three hands.

Cappy lead an assault on Rock Creek Road to Georgetown and Kelsey. As per Cappy standard the ride was at least 50% longer than his stated itinerary.

Tuesday the 21st
Soil may have a patina of dust, but traction will be stellar.
I'll hoist the flag.      


  1. Three! Great call out No Car! Not to crash this wonderful post, but b and I are looking to get some pre Tuesday miles in tomorrow. Maybe auburn? Get at me if you can make it.

  2. NoCar, let me first welcome you back to the dirt and the pack. Looking forward to your company on the trail. Thanks for the call out. Great job recapping recent events. My most favorite quote was - "As per Cappy standard the ride was at least 50% longer than his stated itinerary." I wonder if that was Cappy or GreenFro's undoing.
    I'm In

  3. Also - I'm looking for a quality retro fork. Rigid, 26'' wheel, v-brake ready, 1 1/8th threadless. Any?

  4. Got a call from some guy named Gary who found B's phone on a trail in Auburn. B's phone is in Truckee. B, I will get you his direct number asap, right now the piece of paper it's on is not with me.

    The Sunday ride was only about 12.5% longer than the longest estimated time. The ride was 4.5 hours and the upper estimate was 4 hours. Those of you who were not there missed out on 53 or so miles with 6,800 feet of climbing.


  5. Crooked as a dive bar cue stick

  6. Replies
    1. "Nine" means No in German, so I semi-cleverly clarified the pun.

  7. And your councilman makes an even 10!

  8. There is a chance buttons will make us a twelve pack.

    I have to wonder if we would have these kinds of numbers if it were 33 and raining

  9. Once things get situated at the Mosq lot, let me know if there is room left for a Valero pick up

  10. Will be riding down the hill for a mosquito lot meet up. See you crazy pbr drinking hooligans in a bit.