Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Wanted: UnKWalified Riders

You know who you are. There are a few of you out there. The epic KWalifier route awaites you. As B so eliquently stated as he played a strategic game of 'trail knowledge poker' with a friendly and talkative hiker somewhere near Silver Fork - "We're riding all those trails." That being said, the KWalifier route is more of a collection of routes ammassed through challenging pre-rides both clockwise and counter clockwise, short rides, long rides and celebratory non-rides. Thanks to all our FT3 forfathers who have gone before us, B, droptail and I were able to set the world record time on that route. I followed through on my commitment to push the pace all day, and indeed, as requested by B, I brought my big boy bibs. It is notable here that the FT3 lass a.k.a. droptail brought her big girl bibs as well, as she was none too far off the back at any point during the ride.

The following segment is spoken in computerized extranormal language:
Will there be Hike-a-Bikes?
There may be hike a bikes. Maybe not. If you cannot ride it - you will have to hike it. If you are wondering why it takes 8 hours to complete this ride in world record time, then you might gather that there are hike a bikes. Dude, you are not a recreational rider. You are an FT3 rider. Do the jersey proud. I hope you brought your big boy bibs.

Back to normal language. It is a ride of epic porportions, complete with just the right amount of climbing, technical climbing, managable climbing, technical decending, regular decending, splendid views, fast decending, certifiably awesome decending and yes, hike-a-bikes (if you cannot ride it). All that being said, I highly recommend that those of you with foot and water fetishes get out there and get KWalified. Your footie fitness will push you through the more mentally challenging sections.

Speaking of alternate forms of fitness and fetishes. Last week, since I was unable to make the FT3 ride, I took a Thursday option and did the "Airport Ride" with our counterpart Greenfro. This is a ride on the flats with 40+ Cat. 1-2-3 road racing cyclists. It wasn't long before we were doing 30 miles an hour, against the wind, when something odd happened. The dudes up front stretched out into a thin 2x2 line and went to the wrong side of the road. The rest of the group followed, and there was a long, long, line of riders adjacent to the shoulder on the wrong side of the road. Me, being the MTB rider I am, was like... what the hell is going on here? My moment of confusion took long enough to allow for the elastic to break and for the group to ride swiftly away from me. Lucky me, I was not alone. I had a bit of conversation with another shelled rider, a Mad Cat guy who has done several MTB and cross races with me. I said "I am not that committed, I am just road curious." He responded "I am not committed enough to ride on the wrong side of the road." GreenFro called this phenomenon an "echelon." I guess the Airport ride roadies think they are in the Tour De France on an open road. Guess what guys. You're not.

Today is Tuesday and it is not likely I will be riding, in fact, this is the start of a long hiatus for me. I am enrolled in a class that will take the next 14 weeks of Tuesdays. The next time I participate in an FT3 it will be raining and I will be among a small group of pithy core riders. It will also be well into cross season. I hope I will have company out there. The Sac Cyclocross Series dates are posted. Make note of them.

For those of you can make it tonight and for the next 14 weeks, I bid you adieu. Just know this.... I am KWalified, I am still the Captain, and I am still riding.



  1. I occasionally have a 1 week or even 4 week hiatus, but I don't think I have stretched it out to 14 yet...ouch! As for the KWalified stuff, guess I am the odd duck out, oh well, I will find the route in due time. I did see 2/3 of last weekends ride hanging out at the spoke. My bargain shopping tire purchase has me running an odd mixture of traction and tread...I am sure you will all make fun of my style, but hey, that is just the way I roll!


    I have a potential new rider out there, strong roadie, shopping for a mt. bike. Any chance there is a loaner 16-18 bike out there for tonight to encourage his shopping?

  2. 3!

    I also am unKWalified, however a major break through in kiteboarding prowess was achieved last weekend. Given the throw down pace and current state of fitness it looks like I skirted a probable P3 predicament.

    I'll be there tonight, OTB but present. I can also loan the Intense; I guess someone has some analysis and decision making to do given all the bike options.

  3. Part 2 of the Xtranormal conversation included in the blog post (special for the HCF):

    Will there be bathrooms?
    No. No bathrooms. Unless you can take care of all your business at the Kirkwood Inn, there will be no bathrooms. You better bring some toilet paper or you will find yourself wiping with mule ears or tiny lens wipes ...if you are lucky.

  4. I too have had extended absences, some planned and some so much. However, 14 weeks is an eternity. Much could change in that time; world peace, new scouts come and gone, new bylaws. We'll keep ya posted!

    And congrats on your recent certification. I'm sure the rest will follow, given your glowing recommendation. 8 hours? Dang, will have to work harder next time. Well done!


  5. As of press time I have not heard back from potential new rider...if a last minute call comes I will let lending parties know.

  6. 5! And that is a true 5, no DTI issues to prevent participation this week